Houston Democrats

HB 137 would make it mandatory for a "Welcome to Texas" sign to include:

• A depiction of the state flag;
• The phrase "Drive Friendly – The Texas Way"; and
• The phrase "Welcome to Texas – Proud to be the Home of President George W. Bush."

The signs currently depict the flag and the phrase "Drive Friendly – The Texas Way." Although, people may "Drive Friendly" somewhere, I'm just not sure that it's the "Texas Way." Therefore, the only thing this bill accomplishes is branding George W. Bush's name on all the signs.

You ask what about our other presidents. Don't they deserve mention? Texas has contributed three presidents, whether one agrees with what they did or not. Texas' other presidents are Dwight D. Eisenhower (1953-1961), Lyndon B. Johnson (1963-1969), and George H. W. Bush (1989-1993).

HB 137 originally planned to include the other presidents, but apparently the added lettering was just too expensive. Cosnequently, the Texas Senate committee stripped the previous three presidents' names from the bill. Instead the new signs will only mention George W. Bush (since he's the only one that really matters anyway and most likely to be the real reason behind creating the signs).

I would like to know how George H. W. Bush feels being left unmentioned. Of course, I'm not singling #41 out, but he just happens to be the only one of the previous three still alive. Sure he may not have been a great president, or one that I agree with, but at least he could make a reasonable case for going to war in Iraq without all the trumped up evidence the current administration has used. Having been the CIA Director, he did at least have some shred of cognitive ability.

So where is the money coming from to place these signs? The fiscal note to HB 137 from the Legislative Budget Board states:

Based on the analysis of TxDOT, it is assumed any costs associated with implementing the provisions of the bill could be absorbed within the agency's existing resources.

I am a little uneasy about the "assumed" part. Whenever it comes to budgets and assuming things, it can't be good. Ominously, the Legislative Budget Board does not make any mention about how much these new signs will cost. It simply states, "No significant fiscal implication to the State [and local government] is anticipated." Sounds like TxDOT has a blank check, and it won't matter if the bill runs over a little, so long as it succeeds with getting George W. Bush emblazoned on 66 signs.

The House had added an amendment that would have amended the signs in 2009 to read: "Welcome to Texas – Proud to be the Home of Presidents Dwight D. Eisenhower, Lyndon B. Johnson, George H. W. Bush, and George W. Bush." But really, what of any importance did those other presidents do?

That's right Eisenhower, your interstate highway plan meant nothing.

That's right Johnson, your Voting Rights Act of 1965 meant nothing (The one Bush didn't know had to be renewed, by his own admission).

That's right #41, the first Gulf War to liberate Kuwait meant nothing.

That's right, nothing compared to the Wonderful W. Although what does the Texas Legislature know about equality and respect? Ah right, they legislate so they don't have to believe in that kind of stuff. That would just be too much work.

HB 137 passed the Senate without any debate or any "no" votes Monday. It will now return to the House with the change. State Senator Jane Nelson (R-Lewisville) says she believes the House will accept the bill without any honor for the other presidents.

In the very apt words of Martha C., who tipped us off to this piece of news:

This is absurd.

Oh and by the way, did I mention this came before debating school funding? That's right apparently the Lege is running into a deadline this week on coming up with a solution to fund our public schools on which the betterment of thousands of Texas children depend, but they have not trouble finding time to grovel at W's feet by erecting 66 tributes to him at every entrance to the state. Then again, this is the Texas Legislature, so I guess we have to forgive them for misplacing their cents and senses.

So whenever you are returning from a road trip, don't forget to stop and pray in front of one of these 66 temples to W, our dear immortal leader. You'll need to start praying a lot harder since public education comes after road signs, and since the power of prayer will make much more difference than the dedicated work teachers put in relentlessly. Thank your lucky stars to be living in the Great State of Texas. (You know, I’m joking, but I bet people actually will do that.)

If you read between the lines, you might just be able to make out what the new signs actually say:

Welcome to Bushland: The state that worships the one "true" president, and the land where one is respected if one is of the "right" social standing and class.

Everything is bigger in Texas, and the Lege proves its ability to pass totally unnecessary legislation is no exception to the rule.